sex, money, and miscellany: talking about what matters


In Uncategorized on August 22, 2009 at 6:00 am

Sometimes you just know you need to do something. You get that itchy, creepy, wiggly feeling that you can’t shake. Nothing feels right. The food in the fridge is all disgusting. It’s not depression–there’s no sluggishness here–just a nagging feeling that something isn’t right, and that something big needs to happen to fix it.

You walk around for maybe a week, maybe a month, maybe if you’re really stubborn six months with this feeling, annoyed, not quite sure what to do.

Then one day it walks into your life. Maybe it’s a conversation with a friend; maybe it’s a hand-lettered roadside sign; maybe it’s an ad you almost flip past on the TV. Whatever it is, it turns up again a few days later, on a bumper sticker or magazine cover at the grocery store or a friend you haven’t talked to for six months calls you out of the blue to rave about it.

By the time it shows up on your mother’s Facebook status and at the pet store, you’re paying attention. Finally.

But it seems big. It seems appealing, but impossible–like flying to the moon. It’s too expensive, too time consuming, too complicated. And you have a dentist appointment next Thursday. And dishes to wash. You get a lot of chores done while you’re avoiding it. You tie up loose ends that have been hanging for years. You call friends to distract yourself, and someone mentions It. The Thing.

And it slowly starts to seep into your brain: you have to do it. You don’t know how, you don’t know why, but it has to be done.

Now what?

The first phone call is hardest. After that it gets easier, and little miracles happen. The dogsitting problem solves itself; your great aunt sends you a check for the last seventeen birthdays that she missed and you suddenly have a little extra cash. Doors start opening where you didn’t even know there were doors. Windows don’t just open, they fly off the sash. And all you have to do is say yes and say yes and keep saying yes.

And then one day the moment of truth arrives. All the excuses are managed; all the problems are solved. And you can take the Thing on the silver platter, the one that will change your life–
or you can say no.
And you can keep on as you’ve always done.

But your life will still never be the same.

You will know what you’re missing.

Are you ready to take the plunge?

Start looking.

Start listening.

The first thread is waiting all the time.

  1. This is a post I absolutely understand right now. No matter how a plunge goes, it’s best to make it. You wind up coming up for air in the end, and that gasp for air is the best bit of oxygen you’ll ever get.

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