sex, money, and miscellany: talking about what matters

sex why?

In Uncategorized on August 29, 2009 at 5:55 am

What is sex about, anyway? What is it for? Connection, adventure, fun, pleasure… A friend and I recently had a conversation in which I suggested that if you’re having partner sex and you’re just in it for your own pleasure, you’ve missed the point. He offered that it was more about oneness than pleasure for either/any partner. I didn’t get back to him on that. I was thinking.

What I think now is that sometimes he’s right…and that there’s profound pleasure in that deep connection he was talking about, AND that when you get to that deeply connected place, there can be immense pleasure in giving pleasure because the connection can be so deep that it’s not really clear where one body ends and the next one begins.

I also think that there’s something amazing in the gift of pleasure freely given–when one person can just give for the sake of giving, with no agenda for an outcome, no attachment to orgasm or any other particular response from anyone. The gift is relaxation, sure, but more than that it’s a kind of total ownership of one’s own pleasure. It leads to a sense of wholeness: an awareness that this pleasure that comes from your body is entirely and wholly yours; body and energy and ineffable experience, you belong to you.

That kind of sex can bring us back to ourselves. And when we fully inhabit ourselves, we are brilliantly equipped for deep connection to others. Sex is revealed in its real context: only one dish in a vast banquet of intimacies.

Let us sit, together, then, and let us feast.

  1. …that’s beautiful. That really is.

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