sex, money, and miscellany: talking about what matters


In Uncategorized on September 25, 2009 at 6:00 am

Fall is such a funny season. It arrives with Lammas if you follow the old calendar, and equinox, also known as Mabon, marks the midpoint. Living this far north, that makes sense to me. It makes Samhain (Halloween) the start of winter, and Solstice midwinter. My parents taught me that fall began with Mabon, but then everything is skewed from the reality I live in.

Here in Maine the young maples are already shot with red, with the older trees lingering behind. It’s like falling in love; the young ones do it fast and thoroughly, with no hesitation. When we had a cold snap in August, some of them dropped their leaves early. And when a tree does surrender, it gives like a sigh, beauty and death all in one wash of color. The oaks, which hang on, turn brown and brittle before they fall. There’s nothing left to offer.

But the maples especially, most prized for their color, give up a part of themselves so that they can rest, so that they can become again, so that they can be part of something larger. It’s really the only way. Anything else is a halfhearted wave in the general direction of some grander possibility, an attempt to hold onto the shore and sail across the ocean all at once. We can’t live like that, no matter how much we want to. We can die like that, caught, atrophying by degrees, or we can sail on and risk drowning in pursuit of the horizon.

How would you like to live, if this is your one shot at falling?

and how are you going to get there?

  1. The idea that love can be a “half hearted wave,” that one love is better then another is interesting. And I feel undervalues other types of love. I don’t fall in love with lovers all that easily, actually it’s very rare. My friends are another matter entirely. I am very affectionate with my friends and if I love them they know it. If people outside of the circle of friends I had in high school viewed us altogether they would know where each of our own personal philosophies on love and life stem from. We were an extremely tight knit group of friends, and we lost a lot. We became that much tighter after our losses. When many of us graduated our choir director left his position because he couldn’t imagine working with another group of kids. I have a very hard time leaving a conversation or email with a friend I feel close with without telling them I love them. Mostly because I know that we have today for certain. It’s hard for me to leave a conversation without saying how I feel, but I do for my most formal friends. There are one or two who don’t express emotion the same way but most do.

    There isn’t any form of love that isn’t precious. That shouldn’t be valued because it comes from a person’s heart. Love makes each of us vulnerable. It also makes us as equally strong in our vulnerabilities. Love and life are far, far too precious to undervalue love. It’s the only thing any of us really have at all to give each other that is worth anything at all.

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