sex, money, and miscellany: talking about what matters


In Uncategorized on December 9, 2009 at 3:06 pm

Is casual, consensual sex between adults really the emotional wrecking ball we’re taught it is?

A new study says no…

There are still real physical risks, and not everyone can have a successful casual hookup. But apparently it’s not nearly as bad as we sometimes think, and we might need to focus on the real risks in order to stay current, relevant, and accurate.

Parents may not want their children to have casual sex, but lying is the surest way to discredit oneself as a source of any reliable information. Do we want people to listen to us and take us seriously or not? If we do, we have to step right up and tell it like it is: what are the real risks? What are the real problems? Sometimes that might involve digging a little into ourselves, too, and figuring out what we are really scared of.

What really bothers people about casual sex? Is it risk, or is it that sex can be this precious, beautiful, vulnerable, sacred interaction and people feel strongly about stripping the emotional engagement away from the physical act? And if it’s a values choice–this thing is precious and no one should misuse it–then those who feel that way may have to face the fact that not everyone will feel that way all the time, and it’s not their decision.

How do you feel about sex? Should it be precious and special all the time, or are there times and contexts where a quick roll in the hay is acceptable?

And where do your feelings about sex come from?

And are you happy with them, or would you like them to be different?

How can you change them?

(thanks to Scarleteen for the link)

  1. I don’t see it as a values choice. A choice? Yes, totally dependent on the individual. No rights or wrongs about it, unless we’re talking unprotected sex.

    Personally, whatever sex it is, is based on the relationships I have with people. Could I have casual sex with someone? Sure, it depends on the relationship. And the choices I make with my body within those relationships? My right to make, hopefully without judgement for that choice.

  2. Found your blog via your FB page. Just wanted to say I liked what you were writing!

  3. Hi, Andrew! Glad you like it, and glad you’re here.

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