sex, money, and miscellany: talking about what matters

go gently

In Uncategorized on May 10, 2010 at 10:39 am

I do life coaching, and one of my specialties is something I call sex-positive coaching. I’ve had a number of questions about what I mean by it. I could talk for five minutes or five hours, but the short answer is this: I mean a kind of coaching that can draw on your experience of your sexuality to inform our work together, where sex and sexuality are a welcome part of the larger conversation, and that is regardless of .what. that experience is. My beliefs about sexuality have to do with pleasure and empowerment–as long as it’s safe, sane, and consensual:

from Wikipedia:

safe: attempts should be made to identify and prevent risks to health
sane: activities should be undertaken in a sane and sensible cast of mind
consensual: all activities should involve the full consent of all parties involved

if it brings pleasure, a person should be able to ask for it/try to get it/make it happen. We are not passive participants in life, we are active participants. And if it doesn’t bring pleasure, you shouldn’t do it. That includes sex at all, relationships of lots of different stripes, and just about everything else. The line starts to get fuzzy when it comes to life itself–if life isn’t bringing pleasure, there are lots of options other than suicide.

The pleasure factor is key for me. The choice factor is central. So my definition of “sex-positive” probably has some differences from the ones described in this article about sex positivity and feminism. Since I ALSO consider myself feminist I’m finding myself quite in the middle (as usual). Still, I think the ideas about a shame-pride-arrogance continuum are very useful. And the bottom line? Go gently.

  1. You’re feeling rather bloggy as of late.

  2. I, for one, am glad. And, also, you aren’t blogging about Obama’s supreme court nominee, which is what Ever. Other. Blogger. EVER. is blogging about. So, hey, more props.

  3. Every. Not ever. Typing – I am a failure.

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